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Motivational Life Coaching Corner: Practical Tips to Begin Healing from Trauma Associated with Emotional Pain

Emotional pain and trauma can make it almost impossible to enjoy life and can manifest as physical pain.

Rejection activates the same pathways in your brain as physical pain. Feelings of rejection disrupt the need we all have to belong and to be accepted. Rejection can interfere with your ability to think, make decisions, and recall memories. Letting go of rejection can be good for your mental health, but holding onto and internalizing the rejection can cause mental health issues as well as physical diseases.

When your nervous system is overloaded with too much stress and trauma, you shut down. You may feel numb, detached, and disconnected as a result. You may feel like you are existing but not truly living.

Emotional pain takes a greater toll on your quality of life than physical pain.

The stress and negative emotions linked to a traumatic event can cause physical pain and diseases including chronic inflammation, headaches, high blood pressure, lowered immune system, and altered brain chemicals.

Emotional trauma and pain can interfere with your ability to enjoy life and in severe cases one may have trouble with deciding if life is worth living.

1.  Avoid ruminating about the hurt and the traumatic memories. When you think about what someone has done to hurt you over and over again, it can be distressing, and cause depressive emotions and intense anger. There must be closure with whomever caused you to feel betrayed or rejected. You may never get the opportunity to speak with the person who has hurt you, and they may never truly apologize to you. You can write a letter to them and not mail the letter, but instead bury or burn the letter. You can place an empty chair in front of you and “pretend” you are telling the person who has hurt you how it made you feel. You can also place an empty chair in front of you and talk to God about the person or people who have wounded you. 

Trauma should not be repressed but healthily dealt with by dealing with the pain associated with the trauma. If trauma is not dealt with properly these memories will be played over and over again in your mind which can result in Post-Traumatic Stress. Whatever you decide, make sure you forgive that person, offer them undeserved mercy, and pray a blessing over them (you may have to do this daily until you feel recovered from your heart wounds).

2.      Let go of the rejection you may have internalized as someone you love walking out of your life, abandoning you, or betraying your trust. Internalizing the rejection implies you believe deep down inside that you did something to deserve their rejection and that you are not valuable or worthy enough to receive their love. Dispel and reject all the “seeds” that have taken root to cause you to believe that you are not worthy, not important, not special, or that you are a failure. ALL LIES. 

No matter what you have or have not done in a particular relationship that does not mean that you are not worthy to be honored, valued, or treated with dignity. You are worthy and more importantly, God does not reject you! Pull out all the “roots” or the lies that you have believed because someone rejected or betrayed you, and replace all lies with truth in God’s Word.

3.      Begin to accept the situation that caused you the emotional trauma. There is a common saying,” It is what it is.” Acceptance brings healing. Reliving the past, trying to figure out why something happened, or replaying the trauma in your mind brings more pain and increases your chances of being further traumatized. Let go of what you do not understand. In no way, do I imply letting someone “off the hook” for a hurt or wound that caused your trauma, but accepting that the trauma did happen, and releasing your pain is for your benefit; not theirs. For your healing, you can say, “I don’t like what they did or I don’t like this circumstance in my life, but I will choose to accept that is what happened and find a way to heal in a healthy manner from it.” If you choose to be angry, bitter, or unforgiving you will harm yourself. It is okay to deal with the anger that you may have towards a situation or person but don’t replay or ruminate over the hurt again and again.

4.      Begin exercising. Exercising builds essential brain chemical neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine for mood regulation, and decreasing anxiety. Try and exercise every day.

5.      Connect with safe peopleYou don’t have to talk to others about your trauma, in fact for some talking to others can make their trauma worse. You can have just one or two people with whom you share the trauma you have been through. Attend normal activities that feel safe to you such as church, a bible study, or a lunch date with a trusted friend. (if you are not able to cope with daily living, are severely depressed or anxious, or are unable to connect with anyone you may benefit from professional help).

6.      Healing through the Word of God.

  • In your name Jesus I speak healing and restoration upon every wound that was inflicted upon my life. Thank you for healing and binding up my wounds. (Psalm 147:3).

  • Holy Spirit, expose the lies of the enemy that have entered my life because of my trauma. Jesus, bring me to an encounter with your Word. Reveal Your truth to me let every lie be broken and let every mindset come into alignment with Your Word. God, wash me in Your Word. (Romans 12:2).

  • I declare that I will stand in agreement with Your Word that says only goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life. (Psalm 23, Jeremiah 29:11).

  • Cast out fear from my heart (1 John 4:18a). Let your love rain down upon me, bringing healing to my mind, emotions, will and spirit, and even my body. Overwhelm me with Your healing power and overwhelm me with Your loving presence.

  • I declare freedom from every burden of fear, anxiety, depression, guilt, shame, and anger by the power of the blood of Jesus Christ. And I speak love, peace, freedom, wholeness, joy, and thanksgiving over myself.

There is something known as continuous traumatic stress, this occurs when trauma is repeated such as women and children who are sold into sex slavery or those who experience long-term stress.

Some symptoms may be:

Difficulty regulating emotions, sense of helplessness and powerlessness, feeling like you are someone you love is always in danger, and not able to trust others. The anticipatory anxiety that comes from worrying if a threatening situation will occur, whether the fear is realistic or not can transform how you respond to threats. If there is a remote possibility the trauma can occur again, you may begin to live in an automatic “flight or fight” mode or on high alert. This can cause an inability to relax and enjoy life. When you are trapped in a situation that you have little or no control over a sense of dread can occur.

You have two primary options if you have endured continued traumatic stress:

1) Medication and therapy and/or

2) Work through the above tips on healing from trauma, work through the trauma with someone you trust and with God, naturally, alternative treatments such as Kava and chamomile, speak scriptures out loud over yourself daily that pertain to your situation, and ask Jesus into every situation that you are in and for Him to bring the healing to your memories, body and your emotions.

Though you may have walked through the fire, God can not only bring you through the fire but you can come out without a burn or scar upon you. Jesus Christ is a healer and He does care about all of your trauma. Seek God for the wisdom for the right direction you should go for your healing. Healing often occurs in stages in multiple layers. Jesus can and often heals through many sources, and yes, He can also heal miraculously!


📣 Resources:

Chronic Stress Recovery Online Course. Go deeper with your healing from chronic stress from this course.

✅ Ready for someone to guide you through trauma or chronic stress that you have endured? Book your first consultation for life coaching with me. Your first consultation is 🆓.

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