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Counselor's Corner: Be Set Free From the Opinions of Others

We all want to be liked, well thought of, and approved by others. We care deeply about what others think of us and will go to great lengths to gain their approval.

When you are not sure who you are or where you belong, it is easy to be overly concerned with others' opinions of you.

Often the desire to be liked can stem from a relationship in your past that made their affection seem conditional.

Having a secure foundation of your identity is essential to be free of what others think of you.

Secure identity is a by-product of knowing who you are in Jesus Christ, but you must not just know who you are in Christ but you must believe it as well.

If you have believed what others have said about you or even what you perceive they have thought of you, this lays a faulty sense of identity-based on the opinions of others. If your foundation is faulty, you will struggle with how others think of you, oftentimes being consumed with making sure others perceive you well.

The lies that you believe in how others think of you must be torn down by the truth in what God says about you.

Be free from the opinions of others

Know one can truly know your heart. You may feel misjudged that others have not understood you even if you have attempted to tell them, but they can't "see "the inside of what is going on in your heart. However, there are times the Holy Spirit will show you a portion of someone's heart, and I believe God does this at times so that you can offer/receive forgiveness, and extend mercy to them.

Many people judge others' actions, not what is inside their hearts. When we do this we forfeit grace and feel condemned by them.

There are a few people that we come across in our lives that are connected to our hearts. Hopefully, if you are married you have that with your spouse, but there are others I believe God places in our lives that "get us." There is a connection that just can't be explained other than God allowing someone to "see" inside our hearts. This Divine connection is a gift, but you must also be aware that the enemy can also send those in your path to appear they understand you, only to gain entry into your heart to cause damage. Use discernment when building relationships with others.

So, what do you do with others in your lives that don't "get you," and you care what their opinions of you are:

  1. If they can't "see" your heart they don't know everything about you. If they don't know everything about you, it is possible they will misjudge your actions. However, God knows the intentions of your heart. There is no need to care about people's false perceptions of your heart.

  2. Know who you can share your heart with, and be okay that some will only know you from what you do or don't do.

  3. Build your confidence in who you are in Jesus Christ. This will build a secure foundation that won't be as easily broken when people misjudge you, misunderstand you, or reject you.


These are (4 ) major truths to stand on when you overly care what others think of you:

  1. I will not be condemned by God. (Romans 8:1).

  2. I have been accepted by Christ (Romans 15:7).

  3. I am chosen, holy, and blameless before God (Ephesians 1:4).

  4. I am redeemed and forgiven by the grace of God (Ephesians 1:7).

When you stop caring about what others think of you it builds your confidence, you will start to lead others who want to be free in this area, you will be able to do what you want, you will feel happier that you can be authentic, and you will feel less stress trying to be something that you are not.


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