Counselor's Corner: Am I Enough?



Who has not struggled with feeling not enough? I bet you can imagine when and how it made you feel.



Thoughts such as did I do a good job at work when you are not recognized or wondering if you are a good enough spouse when there is more criticism than praise can be the beginning of our long lists of questions that chip at the core of significance.

There are lots of people who do things so much better than I do, like hosting gatherings, being impromptu, or making small talk. I struggle more at times with not feeling enough if I over-expose myself to those that not only can do it all, but seem to have it all. The analytic side of my brain wonders if what I do and who I am is really enough. If I am not careful I can spiral into discouragement just by my thoughts of, “Am I enough?”


Who defines if we are enough?


Certainly, social media plays a huge part in feeling not enough. The perfectly arranged pictures have been put through so many different filters that you don’t know what is real and what is not. Scroll through social media and you can definitely experience feeling not good enough. Of course, we tend to scroll through social media and compare ourselves to what others have and what they are doing. Comparing ourselves with what is on social media is so dangerous to our mental health. When people’s highlight reels are captured, we miss what is really going on in their lives and only see the good stuff.


I believe social media is one of the strongest weapons the enemy uses to keep others struggling with worth and significance. Many young girls and women and even men are heavily influenced by what others are posting. As Christians when we post on social media let's do it in a way that represents who we are.


You are Enough!


There are also hidden core beliefs or lies that can cause you not to feel good enough. Some core beliefs we formed as children about the world, ourselves, and others. Learning to shift your thinking patterns away from self-defeat that may have developed as a child is possible. Flush out and get out your feelings by speaking to someone that you trust and that can validate you. If you don’t have this type of person, talk to God and even write it out in a form of a prayer to God. Uncover the lies and replace these lies with the truth in God's Word.


One of the best ways we can feel good enough is to stop comparing and competing ourselves with others. The never-ending comparison with people can evoke a sense of worthlessness. Interestingly a study was done on those who use Facebook the most had poorer self-esteem. The more that you compare, the worse that you feel.


Comparison is the thief of joy.


Learn to retrain how you not only think but also what you say about yourself. What you think does really matter, as it will become the basis for who you will become.

As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he." Proverbs 23:7